ENGLISH IS ALIVE ... KEEPS TICKING!

English certainly is a queer language as any you see, with all its plurals as different as can get to be for no reason or rhyme. Consider for example:  the plural of ox is oxen but the plural of fox is not foxen but foxes.  But then that is English, call it the British or American version. Although it’s a borrowed language, it finds its way being alive and ticking when it comes to the Corporate world, just in the same fashion as their US$ rules the roost as a form of exchange.

Those who are in the fifties age bracket are now confounded with so many words that our past generation didn’t have, but they are words that are only too familiar with the teenage college-goers. So consider a family where there are three generations in the age group of 88+, 55+ and 20+.

A conversation typically is: “Hey, I wanted to touch base with you.  Our company has rolled out some good plans.  You can download them and check it out. Let’s freeze the deal by Wednesday. I am sending you some new stuff now via blue tooth. Keep your blue tooth open.  Save that up too as tomorrow is my day off and may not be able to answer your queries, if any. I am on Whatsapp.     Hello there!  This time, my tyres came for 50000 miles, How about yours? ”

In the above sentence, Touch base actually means talk. So what used to be formerly conveyed as: I wanted to talk to you is conveyed as: Touch base with you. For an octogenarian, Touch base here is a wrong usage and they go into sprightly laughter. Why would one say Roll out plans instead of merely stating put forth some plans? For them rolling out is related to a flattening process as in chapathi dough making.

Now, how can you freeze a deal is their question. One can freeze the water to make them ice cubes but how can u freeze a deal?  It is horrendous English according to them.  Doesn’t it make sense by stating “let’s complete the task and move on”, in simple jargon?

“What and where on earth is a blue tooth?  Tooth is never blue for anybody in the world.  So how do you name it so? Ours are just white which has turned cream due to age”, says my dad, who is good in his days of English by any standard. “Worse still, I can keep my jaw open but how do I keep a blue tooth open?” he asks.

It astonished me that such a name was given too, for I too found it queer and asked my son about it, as it is in vogue. 

My tech savvy son was all too happy reeling out these new found names which got its predominance from the IT sector. It has, unfortunately trickled down to normal English parlance by all and sundry of the present generation, making it the in-thing of today.  He was making a mockery of us as his knowledge was by far superior in this so-called new ticking usage of words. In-thing is what is meant by being in vogue.

And not to mention, what exactly do you mean by download? “Upload is what I am aware of”, says my 95 year old dad.  One can upload a lot of bananas into the truck. “Now are you going bananas? Where is the word in your dictionary for the term download the files?” How does one go about downloading files is what oldies are unable to comprehend.

Coming to the office scenario there existed no term as day–offs, it used to be a weekly off.  Next, coming to car tyres, strangely when you ask the cost of a tyre at a mechanic shed or shop , pat comes the reply : “Sir,  tyres  come for 50000 miles”  , which in other words means a replacement  after the stipulated  miles. For our earlier generations born in the 1920’s – 30’s, or even for those born until the 1960’s,  cost of a tyre meant payment in Indian rupees.

Strangely, these changes mean nothing for the current college goers as they were born with this parlance and to them it seems strange that everything draws a blank to their grand parent who they were told  were the “all knowing”  types by their parents, having driven a car too all their life.

Whatsapp was no terminology as there was no question of an Apps in those days and strangely, what’s up meant what is happening at your end.

Does it seem like hell let loose? O’ye, it sure must be, if you are an Octogenarian or Nonagenarian. How does one go about to explain these terms is yet another ordeal! For us, in the mid 50’s age-bracket, we are kind of sandwiched between our past two generations and our future gen. Again, here the word sandwiched is actually not ours as in the past, sandwich means preparing butter / jam / tomatoes/ cucumber over the bread slices and compressing them together. Nothing beyond that had the terminology of sandwich. Now it’s a different ball game altogether.  

But then Cricket too has its rules of the game changed so much, yet is alive and ticking, so why crib?

Malini Kalyanam

www.malinipottery.com

(The writer is a Yoga practitioner/ therapist, Agnihotri, Social activist, Soft skills Trainer Content writer, Journalist - freelance, Reiki Grand Master, pottery artiste, and   Founder Director of Artistic Pottery Training Academy, Mudra therapist, holistic healer, Social activist,  Environmentalist and Green crusader, but not necessarily in the same order)