English is alive … Keeps ticking (PART # 2)

English has gone a long way … such a long way that I fear keeping track of it may be tougher than I expect to.  The language has undergone a sea change so much so that one would need to have the latest dictionary to keep track.  Sounds crazy, but well we have no other option.

I shudder to think of the plight of my Webster’s and Oxford which hold a place of pride at home. They remain as  old editions of by gone era.  The next gen can now relate to them as antique collection of books. They no longer contain words that are important  and tech savvy to me for daily parlance and have become extinct, just like many other things that have gone extinct in our day to day lives. 

For instance, I cannot imagine my would-be daughter in law sitting on the grinding stone of those days like we used to, every alternate day for making fluffy idlis/ Dosa.  I distinctly remember my sister and I used to sit on the  "Kalloral"  or grinding stone which was akin to a huge mortar and pestle  in black stone, after school hours regularly in the 1970’s. Not that we loved to, but we had no choice.   There was no electrical technology then as we have now for grinding. Incidentally and fortunately, there is a photograph too of the same in our albums and it beats me that we were photographed executing that chore of manual grinding by my parents who had a penchant for everything.   It was a Nikon camera  that clicked us , as there were no cell phones then.

OTG then meant Oven Toaster Grill.  But now it is unlearning for me, as it stands for ‘On The Go’.

In the olden days there used to be barter system.  By barter system products were exchanged not on the basis of monetary value but on the basis of commodity versus commodity.  i.e., Rice could get exchanged for Dal etc. depending on what was grown in the farms by each family.  In today’ world the cash equivalent to the commodity’s value is executed.  Energy Exchange means monetary value.  My dad asks me what is EE and how is it possible to “exchange energy” and how can cash can be termed as energy for being exchanged.   My head goes for a top spin.  Sometimes life singles you out for reasons best known to the Universal life force. I am sure my grandchild will one day say “ Grandma (Pati), give me a break”, because by then I will be in the same state of affairs as my dad now, at the going pace with English.  I am getting geared for that.

Life certainly has changed a lot. Not only has our telephone instruments undergone major changes, but also the language spoken over phone over the years . I remember the phone instrument at home we had since the 1940’s and the subsequent ones that entered the market … everything has changed but English as a language has stayed on in the country long after the British left us and is still alive and kicking… so much so I wonder if in body, mind and spirit we are Desi (s)  or Bharat Wasi (s) ?  Of course I shamelessly admit I cannot do without English as that has been like staple food. I can’t claim to be adept with any other language, as this one, although I do know to speak seven languages comfortably and can communicate fairly well.

Now, to what extent has English pervaded our education system, is for anyone to see. What is your mother tongue is merely a namesake question in the forms to be filled up.  Often I wonder if at this going rate, where is it all leading to?  Of late there have been many acronyms coming into parlance. Although we are all too familiar with the terms Google and Yahoo, IFSC in Banking as we do online transactions, we also know that Computers can come under virus attack but we rarely know what these acronyms stand for.  

My dad asks me, “How can a computer get virus attack?  It is not a human being. Do you mean to say it can catch a cold and fever from any of us? In which case do we have to take it to a doctor too?  I don’t understand the jargon that people of today speak. It is too confusing to me.”  I play it safe.   The last thing I want is my laptop to be used as his old, ramming Remington typewriter! 'Tak- tak -tak' he hammers the keys in and 'dishooooooom' he swipes the enter key which makes the move to slide on to the next line.  That was a heavy typewriter of yester years.  All his letters and communications in impeccable English, in his inimitable, critical style of writing were typed super fast in this typewriter and I vow to savour every moment of it.  To me the typewriter is antique value, although to him it is a commodity of necessity. In fact, we grew up with it although we were not allowed to type on it. It was and has always been exclusively his. I am sure my son’s next gen will laugh their guts out when they see this obsolete Remington typewriter equipment, as technology has changed so much. But then the only consolation would be that the English alphabets therein will continue to be the same, as English is still alive and ticking!

RSS in my dad’s era meant only a political group: Rashtriya  Swayam Sevak sangh but in today’s world  our children know it to be Really Simple Syndication.  Take another example. ACER to me  meant  the  Model of my  laptop but I note that in effect  it is :  Acquisition Collaboration Experimentation Reflection.

One evening I had my father, a nonagenarian, ask me what the hell this Google is. “Everybody is talking about it and says everything is on Google.  What does the acronym stand for, explain to me” he said in a pathetic voice. 

I retorted, “That is easy, Google and you will find that too.”  Now my son in his twenties was in peals of laughter. He knew I was clean bowled as I have been working day in and day out on my laptop and Google wasn’t new to me, but the acronym 's expansion was! I didn’t know it is Global Organization of Oriented Group Language of Earth.  I don’t expect to remember this nor do I expect you to. But for a nonagenarian who is very particular of meticulously absorbing words and trying to assimilate them coherently, it can pose a big problem. I told him “ Appa , you need not know what Google stands for , so long as you know how to Google and find your way to what you want , it is enough. “  Now that didn’t strike a chord and he felt it was a hopeless  affair as this “Google” word was being spoken of by every  Geetha, Seetha and Johnny who came to meet him and none were able to tell him clearly what the acronym's expansion stood for.

Recently, the TV remote went for a six and the old man at home was very gross. His TV channel wasn’t working and he was at his wits end. He called for the cable connector who said that the remote equipment had to be changed.  Appa said fine and then the cable operator’s mechanic who came home was telling him about how the old man would need to go online and make the payment after a code is registered in his mobile and would need to access via the code.  He continued to say that the amount would get adjusted from the online deposit but my old man wasn’t listening to any of these technicalities of transactions.  He said, “Take the money of Rupees 200. I neither have internet, nor a cell, nor do I know to make an online payment. When I can give you cash immediately, can’t you be done with it and allow me to enjoy my TV channel? Why are you wasting my time and asking me to do all these things which I know nothing about? You guys are complicating the world. We lived a lot simpler.”

The poor mechanic was lost for words.  He said he couldn’t accept cash as it gets routed through online only. He then politely asked to be connected to me and then the matter was solved as payment was handled as per today’s norms.  But my dad was unrelenting.  “Why did that man not take my money, is he doing it for free?”   I tried telling him that we operate in a cashless society and no need for cash payments like the way we used to earlier. It’s all done online.  He was visibly shaken up and I could sense that. What exactly is happening in this world, he wonders.  If Gandhi were to be born again would he be a misfit is what perhaps is going on in his head.

Now for some more acronyms which could eat your head… Chill with English and enhance your vocabulary!

WiFi : Wireless Fidelity

DELL: Digital Electronic Link Library

MPEG: Moving Pictures Expert Group

GPS: Global Positioning System

IVRS: Interactive Voice Response System

GSMC : Global System for Mobile Communications

USB: Universal Serial Bus

PPI: Pixels Per Inch

NFC: Near Field Communication

HSDPA: High Speed Packet Access

EDGE: Enhanced Data rates for Global Evolution

DNSE:  Digital Natural Sound Engine

DIVX: Digital Internet Video Access

TFT: Thin Film Transistor

Ever wondered how some words’ full forms expanded?  I certainly didn’t know why a newspaper was named as Newspaper. 

News Paper= North East West South Past And Present Events Report.

Cold= Chronic Obstructive Lung Disease

JOKE= Joy Of Kids Entertainment

CDMA= Code Division Multiple Access

POI= Point of Interest

POA: Plan Of Action

WXGA: Widescreen Extended Graphics Array

QVGA: Quarter Video Graphics Array

AIM= Ambition In Mind

Date= Day And Time Evolution

Eat= Energy And Taste

OK: Objection Killed

EE: Energy Exchange

SMILE: Sweet Memories In Lips Expression

BYE: Be with You Every time

PEN: Power Enriched in Nib

ETC: End of Thinking Capacity   (I knew it to be used at the end of a list to indicate that further, similar items are included.) 

IF you know any more Acronyms and their expansions, feel free to add them in your comments … the more the merrier. Not all of us remember all of them anyway.

Incidentally, as I sign off, I just checked with dad and asked him how would you communicate in English that your TV remote is not functional?  He immediately said, one can say:  It went out of order or is not in working condition. When I asked him if it would be appropriate to say: “it went for a toss or went for a six”, he said such words are not correct for good English usage!   and continued with unabated breath, " You can toss a salad  and hit the ball for a  mighty six in a game of cricket ".  But  I am sure you will all agree with me that what expressions  i had used  in the above context of 'toss' and 'six' is  the in-thing in our corporate style of usage is n't it ?

It is interesting how these words came up. English no doubt is alive and ticking!!!

MALINI   KALYANAM

www. malinipottery.com

Content Writer:  Poompuhar  - Airport Division, Chennai  (Art n Crafts)

Member:  Cynergi Writers Forum   (CWF Bloggers Forum) 

Creator: PLANT GREEN VISTAS  - a Whatsapp  forum for Gardening & Conservation of Nature

Founder Director: Artistic Pottery Training Academy, Chennai

Founder Director: Therapeia Infinity

Founder Trustee: 'The PALM'  - a Charitable Trust

Hony Member: Inner Wheel of Symphony Club

(The writer is a Yoga practitioner/ therapist, Agnihotri Practitioner and Trainer, Social activist, Soft skills Trainer, Content writer, Journalist - freelance, Reiki Grand Master, Pottery artiste, Mudra therapist, holistic healer,  Inner child practitioner,  Environmentalist and Green crusader, but not necessarily in the same order)